{"product_id":"200g-black-candle-dark-noir-59","title":"Currently defrosting my will to live… 200g Black Candle ‘Dark Noir’","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEmotionally microwaved? Same, babe.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis 30cl matte-black candle is for the girlies, gays, and goose-energy gremlins who have officially hit capacity and are now operating purely on sarcasm and spite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eInfused with a moody blend of precious woods, smoky amber, oud, citrus, and a hint of “don’t talk to me,” it delivers the perfect scent for when your brain feels like it’s been reheated three times in a staff-room microwave.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eHand-poured with our premium vegan-friendly black paraffin wax, it burns clean — unlike your last three meltdowns. Expect a strong fragrance throw and even stronger “leave me alone before I hiss” energy.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLight this when you’re:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✨ done,\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✨ over it,\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✨ emotionally roasted on Gas Mark 6,\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✨ currently defrosting your will to live like that angry festive goose on the label.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBecause sometimes self-care is just…\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003esurviving the day without biting someone\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Bottled Goose","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":56914540724611,"sku":"d-126701520855-126701520855","price":23.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0917\/5836\/3011\/files\/IMG-2768.png?v=1764005632","url":"https:\/\/www.zeenamoon.com\/products\/200g-black-candle-dark-noir-59","provider":"Zeena Moon ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}